Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays - download pdf or read online

By David Sedaris

ISBN-10: 0316779423

ISBN-13: 9780316779425

Brief tales and essays by means of an house cleanser and a well-liked commentator for nationwide Public Radio spotlight the absurd habit of smooth americans, comparable to the suburban dad who saves cash by means of appearing surgical procedure at domestic. Reprint. 25,000 first printing.

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Extra resources for Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

Example text

It makes me gag, but still I find myself constantly poking at my uvula with whatever is handy. It’s funny. I just want to take a pair of scissors and snip the damned thing off. It would bleed like the devil but it wouldn’t kill me. I am not a physician but have read enough to know that everything is not as complicated as it is made to sound. Most of it is just common sense. For example, I have given my daughter, Dawn, stitches several times. If you can sew a button on a shirt, then you can give someone stitches.

Seen standing together in the parking lot of the Burger Tabernacle (her home away from home) and seen huddled together, laughing on the escalator of the Crabtree Valley Mall. Annette, my supposed best friend, who secretly wanted and coveted everything I owned. Annette, always in my corner, the balding, chubby girl who said to me, in the spirit of friendship, “You’ve got to loosen up a little, Trish. ” I remember she said it to me in the bedroom of my own home, her hand on my shoulder, facing left so that I could clearly see how those two top teeth of hers are turning brown as a result of a cheap root canal.

Dawn says that the beat is good to dance to. Dance? Her? ” This music encourages her to live in a fantasy world where everything is rosy and brightly possible — no need to work, just sit back and dream, dream your life away. She’s getting these records from some kid down the block. I’ve seen him around a few times on the street barefoot and shirtless but with a big hairbrush sticking out of his gym shorts. He’s not going anyplace barefoot so what does he need with a hairbrush? He’s just begging to step on a nail or on some of the broken glass I’ve set outside Dawn’s window and I can’t wait until he does.

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Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays by David Sedaris

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